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Why Community is Necessary For The Pelvic Healing Journey

Updated: Aug 23, 2023

Here at The Pelvic Empowerment Movement, we know that nourishing the pelvic space can be life changing. We help clients navigate their pelvic healing journey with Pelvic Floor PT, Pelvic Empowerment Coaching, and a variety of other pelvic services.


HOWEVER


If now is not the time to invest in 1:1 support, or you simply want to bolster the support you are already receiving, one of the best things you can do to nurture your pelvic healing journey is to find aligned and authentic community.


Community reminds you that you are not alone.


It is so common to have a ~less than optimal~ experience when it comes to the pelvis. Painful sex, infrequent orgasms, painful periods, unsupported pregnancy/postpartum, shame of your genitals, frustrating menopause... the list goes on!


The pelvic healing journey can be so isolating. Many of us have been conditioned, from a very young age, that sex, periods, body shame, etc. are not casual dinner topics. Thankfully, times have changed dramatically and people are beginning to get more comfortable bringing these topics up, especially in their close circles. But even still, widespread information is lacking and many people are left out of the pelvic wellness conversation.


Some people don't even know that what they're going through does not have to be the reality. For many, it becomes their norm. And once we accept something as the "norm" we tend to stop looking for creative and curious solutions!


It can be so comforting to know that you are not alone in the experience of relational tension from lack of sex, or the confusing sense of disconnect when looking at your baby in the immediate postpartum, or the feeling of "am I really going to call out of work AGAIN" because of painful periods.


Hearing an emphatic "oh my god, yes, me too!!" can be incredibly healing in and of itself.


Having a community of people who have similar, adjacent, or parallel experiences affirms that the reality you are experiencing is safe and valid. You are not alone and, therefore, you do not need to "fight" it all on your own. You get to surrender to the truth of your body while trusting that you will be held and nurtured by people who understand in your navigation process.


Community is accountability to heal TODAY.


Community represents accountability to do the work today because you deserve it. Not because you've reached breaking point.


So many of us have been conditioned to believe that seeking support is a sign of weakness or a waste of time. I have seen too many people wait until things are *really bad* and only then start to pick up the pieces.


This conditioning is due in part by Western medicine and in part by social construct.


Socially speaking, people conditioned as women have been TOLD: put the needs of others first. That the pain you feel is all in your head. Not to speak up because you'll be seen as weak, dumb, or crazy. That the pain or dysfunction is "normal." And that the desired treatment isn't "a good idea" (think natural birth control, home birth, etc). This can lead to a lack of self trust in their personal relationship to the pelvis, and a culture of fear in their professional relationship with healthcare providers.


While on the other hand, people conditioned as men have NOT BEEN TOLD: it is safe to connect with you pelvis, you deserve to understand this part of your body, its about so much more than sex, all of your desires are welcome, it is okay to share if you are struggling, it is safe to ask your doctors questions, it is okay to be seen in whatever is true for you. This can lead to a somewhat disconnected personal relationship to the pelvis, and a culture of avoidance in their professional relationship with healthcare providers.


Please note that the above experiences are not exclusive or separate. Most of us experience a mix of both types of conditioning. These are polarized examples based on the gender binary (another social construct that I believe harms many people's relationship to their pelvis, but thats a blog for another day!!)


Across the board, it is reasonable to see why so many people's pelvic related issues get pushed down and de-prioritized.


And on top of that, the current medical model (in the United States, at least) focuses on using pharmaceuticals to "fix" symptoms of the body rather than to learn the language of the body from a young age and practice individualized prevention.


Choosing to find an aligned community and begin your Pelvic Empowerment journey ASAP (regardless of whether or not you have pelvic symptoms) can be transformational.


Imagine if people learned about their menstrual cycle and hormonal health as a means to listen to their body rather than just to prevent pregnancy.


Or if people didn't wait until they felt the pain of pregnancy before learning how to stretch and strengthen their muscles.


Or if people learned about the unique patterns that bring pleasure and bliss into their bodies before ever initiating sex with a partner.


A world where we intimately know, love, and listen to the root of our bodies is available. And I believe community is a big part of it. It is so easy to fall off the bandwagon when there's no body on board with you. But fill bandwagon up with people who want of life of hot sex, intuitive bleeds, ecstatic birth, and liberated expression, and you have a PARTY that you won't soon be leaving!!


Community reminds you that the reality you're living in is not your only option.


A lot of times, our own experience of reality becomes unconsciously narrow, i.e. we don't realize it's the only thing we notice. And many suffer in silence because they assume that they are broken and can't be fixed.


Hearing other peoples' experience keeps your blinders off. And not in the sense of "oh yeah I have to remember that other people have it bad too." But the opposite!! Oftentimes, hearing other peoples' goals and intentions can catalyze some of your own biggest growth and inspiration!


This keeps your awareness locked into the fact that pelvic pain and/or pelvic shame does not have to be part of your story. It reminds you that the doors of possibility are always open to MORE.


When you take the time to intentionally be in community, you stay rooted in this intention and desire for more. You are consistently reminded of your original WHY by witnessing and being witnessed.


By allowing your community to be a constant source of inspiration, you hone in on what feels most aligned and authentic for YOU. This happens when you hear someone share about their story and you feel that overwhelming sense of "wow, if they did it, so can I!" Or when someone shares a recent win and you can recognize "hmm, I love that for them, but I want to focus on something completely different."


This is not to be confused with comparison. What I'm suggesting is not that you join community as a means to measure up, but rather as a means to expand your awareness. This helps you define what is it that you actually want and don't want. It gives you an opportunity to hear and experiment with new thoughts, ideas, and perspectives. There is truly so much that we can learn from each other when we choose to have the humility to listen and receive.


You can only imagine that which you already know. By surrounding yourself with people who are on similar but separate paths, you have the opportunity to *see* more realities and thus collapse the timeline of your healing exponentially.


Your community is chosen.


Many, especially those of us in the LGBTQIA+ community, are intimately familiar with the idea of a chosen family. The concept of finding people who truly see you, get you, and want to support you unconditionally, especially when the family you were born into isn't available to offer you that.


When it comes to your pelvic healing, a lot of times, a chosen family or community becomes necessary, even if just for a short period of time!


The world of kink, immediate postpartum, and menopause are just a few examples of niche pelvic spaces that the general public isn't often well versed in. Even if you are just exploring a specific pelvic topic, having access to a community that is well equipped to serve you during that evolution can be such a game changer!


Holistic pelvic healing is only just starting to become more mainstream. It is a common for people to feel resistance towards introducing topics like womb healing, sacred pleasure, sex magic, home birth, etc. in their already established circles if it's not already the vibe. The solution to this can be two-fold: 1 - practicing self sourcing safety so that you can confidently introduce these topics and be seen and held by your pre-existing community OR 2 - finding another community that is already head over heels obsessed over and supportive of all the topics you're interested in!


We offers a variety of Groups on our website for you to join to connect with people of similar interests!


Pelvic healing + community = a path to deepen self love.


Pelvic shame runs rampant in our society. It can be so hard to validate and even have love for the parts of you that want to be hidden. And for some, it can be hard to feel that they are even worthy of that healing to begin with!


You can't embark on the journey of pelvic healing without reckoning with your sense of self love. In many ways they are the same journey.


And while yes, there are parts of that journey that have to be done alone, there are many parts that are greatly supported by the presence of others.


This is because we are all sacred mirrors for each other. Constantly reflecting objective and subjective parts of our experience back and forth between each other. Learning as we observe. And refining as we share.


Being in community gives you an opportunity to see yourselves in others. This means that there is always a catalyst to go deeper. And on top of that, by realizing the empathy and permission you feel for another persons experience, you can begin to walk yourself home to a place of compassion and empathy for your own experience.


There is no place for shame and comparison in a healthy community.


Astrologically, I am a Cancer Sun and Leo Moon. In human design I am a Sacral Generator. It is an absolute understatement to say that I liiive for connection and the opportunity to be seeeeen. I love being able to share all my layers authentically without fear of judgement. I need the space to freely ask what's on my heart. I adore when community spaces are willing to meet me where I am and get vulnerable with me. I have experienced so much healing just by being in proximity to people who led with their heart and an ongoing sensitivity.


As a result, I have become very picky about what types of energy I allow in my community spaces.


Things like shame, comparison, social hierarchy, and exclusivity are a hard stop for me.


There is so much medicine in being able to be your authentic self, ask curious questions, and explore genuine reflections. The second shame and co. enter the room, the medicine stops.


When it comes to pelvic healing, there is a very unique sensitivity to be honored. True, sustainable pelvic healing is deeply intertwined with the intuition. Communities that make it harder to hear and honor the voice of your inner knowing are a RED FLAG.


An aligned community will allow you to feel safe, held, and welcome.


Remember: every community you enter is blessed by your presence simply because you are YOU. Every space you enter is forever changed because your uniqueness has touched it. You are magic. You are divine. You deserve community that makes you feel that way.


If it feels like your current community isn't actually as supportive as you thought or if you have been betrayed by community in the past, know that I see you. Your experience is valid.


And if that experience is keeping you from seeking out an aligned community, I honor that. It can be so hard to re-write hurtful narratives. AND I would encourage you to believe in the truth that there are people out there who are like you, who would get you, and who would love you deeply. They get to be a part of your soul community and they are out there.


You evolved to experience community.


Evolutionary biology is liiiiteraly one of my favorite fields of study. I try to incorporate into the Pelvic Empowerment practice whenever I can!! Having hunter-gatherer and/or nomadic ancestors means that we have evolved to live in groups and have a community we can depend on. For our ancestors, being seen, held, and supported was a way of life.


One of the downsides of the age of technology is that it has become easier and easier to feel fully provided for and fully connected, and yet be entirely alone.


When I picture sacred community, I see an image of our ancestors gathered under the stars together. Listening to each others stories, telling their own. Leading with love. Laying their hands on each others shoulders, saying "I see you. I hear you. I honor all that is true for you."


We get to have that today too. It does take a little bit of baseline effort, but it is so worth it. For some of us that means setting the community up ourselves. For others, it means seeking out and experimenting with different people and places.


Currently, I am offering free weekly gatherings that align with the moon cycle. We meet virtually every New, Full, and Quarter Moon. It is a low pressure, low structure environment meant to hold the group in whatever feels real and alive that day. We typically explore 1 or 2 embodiment practices, relevant themes based on the moon's position, and leave lots of room for reflection and discussion.


This weekly Circle was birthed out of the desire to actually see more aligned, authentic community spaces. Spirit said, "okay, go create it then!" and here we are! You can find more details on our Workshops & Events page.


You deserve it.


Pelvic Empowerment is all about liberation and embodied decision making in whatever context is most applicable to you. That can mean anything from being able to do a sexy dance for you partner, to having painless periods, to starting your gender transition!


No matter the reality you are desiring, allowing yourself to be seen and held by people who get it and want to see your vision become your reality is a priceless gift to give yourself.


If you'd like to learn more or get connected, please leave a comment below! And if you enjoyed this post please let us know by liking, commenting, and sharing with your friends! We are so thankful for the growing community that already exists here!! Sending all my love, until next time.


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